Moving to a new place (city, church, school, job, etc.) can be hard. You have to leave much of what you know behind and basically start over. For me, moving to Chicago, I left a lot of friends behind, and while I kept (and continue to keep) in touch with them as much as possible, I missed having friends nearby.

This weekend, I spent time with good friends, and I started thinking that really everyone has been through what I’ve gone through over the last year. Everyone has been in a situation where they needed to make new friends. So here is the first of my Making Friends tips.

Tip #1:  Spend quality time with quality people.

This weekend was great. It was filled with fun and sun, and while having plans for hanging out on the lake all day on Saturday was exciting, one of the best parts of the weekend was sitting outside on the deck talking about life, love, and friends. Quality time. Quality conversation.

A new friend.

It leaves me longing for more.

Word of the Week:  Quality

Word to the Wise:  “A longing fulfilled is sweet to the soul…”  Proverbs 13:19

Disclaimer:  I am pretty sure this will be the first of many tips. I am also pretty sure that the order in which they are given may not make much sense. What can I say? Life works that way.

Have you ever felt anxious about making new friends in a new place? What did you do about it?


The Quiet Type

February 27, 2011

The back of my 2010 daily Dilbert calendar (yes, I am a Dilbert fan) included word games, quotes, and historical moments to remember. I couldn’t help but smile when I ran across this statistic:

“On average, women say 7,000 words per day. Men say just over 2,000.”

I immediately thought of a typical conversation in my household.

Me: How was your day?
Hubs: Good.
Me: What did you do?
Hubs: Worked around the house.
Me: What did you do around the house?
Hubs: Worked in the kitchen.
Me: (tapping foot, shaking head, breathing slowly and methodically) Well, I’m glad you had a good day.

Does this sound familiar to you? I don’t understand why some guys do not understand that most women actually want the details. At least make an effort! I just want to whisper some subliminal messages to my husband in his sleep.

On the other hand, when my husband asks me about my day, he gets a far more detailed response.

Hubs: How was your day?
Me: You will not BELIEVE what happened to me today! I had to run down the street in my heels to catch the bus.  I got to the train just in time, but this guy was totally in my personal space. I mean, hello? I’m sitting here, dude. Then, this lady kept sneezing and coughing all over everyone, and I just wanted to tell her to cover her mouth or get off the train. I was happy for the peace and quiet when I finally got to work and had my coffee in hand…blah, blah, blah.

Now, I realize that my husband would have gladly accepted “good” for a response and that many men wish for fewer details than their wives give them. But seriously.

I guess my husband and I both fit the mold (not all the time – in Hubs’ defense). Do you fit the mold? How so? Women, are your husbands the quiet type?

Men, speak up. Do you wish for fewer details? I know I am only presenting one side of the equation. My women readers would appreciate your thoughts here.

Note:  I trusted Dilbert’s statistics above. No additional fact-finding has been performed.

Word of the Day: Quiet
Word to the Wise:  “The Lord your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing.”  Zephaniah 3:17

Disclaimer: I was going to allow my husband to write today’s disclaimer, but he had nothing left to say.